Pandora's Parcel

So when I came home today there was this evil brown box delivered to me. It seemed just like every other brown cardboard box put through the rigors of the postal system... but this one is much more sinister.

There is no special marking on it.  The company name isn't emblazoned on it like other boxes, but this had an evil 3 word company describing where this package originated from.

I didn't have to open it.  I knew what was inside and so do you.  We've discussed the contents already on here.  And now it sits on my table, isolated and unopened.  I don't want it infecting other parts of my apartment.

Once that parcel is open, if my sister gets her way, those will be the items I wear consistently at home for the foreseeable future...

Does anyone have any ideas on how to get out of this??  If you're on my sister's side what do you think I should wear first?


  1. galatea_inlace said...:

    You should hide the box and tell a convincing story about how it got lost.

    Personally, I am always getting that kind of box, sometimes with interesting stuff, sometimes with not so interesting. Pull a quick switch, shipping boxes like that are easily come by, and labels can be faked.

    Once a box like that is opened, it can rarely be closed again, so the title of your blog entry is appropriate. It represents the slope of a very slippery slide. Bury it someplace deep, or back to the previous idea of faking, get yourself a box and fill it full of male underwear.

    The main problem is, you have already let the world know about it, and if you cannot delete this entry, you are pretty much up a tree without a hammock. Sorry, I think you are in deep, deep trouble and better resign yourself to a future of satin and lace nightmares.

    You could plead insanity and burn it now, better yet donate it to a local charity's thrift store, explaining that guilt drove you to do it.

  1. Anonymous said...:

    Chrissy, my sweet little girl... there is no way out... embrace your fate with a smile like a good girl... if you never wanted this, you would never have walked down this path... so stop all your feeble protests and simply embrace the life you have always wanted...

    Admit it - you love being a girl and having all this attention because of it! - M.

  1. Anonymous said...:

    i think you need some feminization hypnosis ;)

  1. Anonymous said...:

    Lets see them

  1. Gal's right - you've said too much. However, companies DO make mistakes, so there's nothing to stop you saying you had to send it back, after discovering the wrong items were in it. Or you did get the right items, but they were damaged or dirty. You could then get rid of the offending container and its contents, and then claim to your sister that you took the offer of a refund instead of an attempted second delivery.

    Of course, by my suggesting that in an open blog, you're now screwed if you try it, because your sister reads this, and will therefore know you got the idea off me (not that she can do anything about it). But even so, there are bound to be other excuses you can use too, so don't give up hope!

  1. Anonymous said...:

    Hmmm... are you sure you know what's in the box, shy little Christine? Are you sure your sister didn't put in a surprise for you? Something to make your girlish heart skip a beat?

    You're thinking about that now, I know. You're probably looking at the box, and wondering if there is something else inside waiting for you. Something you want, in spite of your feeble posts and protests. Every moment that you look at that box puts your nerves on edge. Your imagination working overtime as visions of raw femininity overwhelm you.

    Just thinking about what is in the box... how pretty and soft it must be... how badly you want to touch it with your trembling hands... how smooth and silky it will feel on your skin...

    You want to open that box sooo badly, don't you? - M.

  1. Anonymous said...:

    Hmmm... you've been awfully quiet, sweetie... M.

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